Squee VS The Bad Things
by Jibaku-Chan
Summary: (rating for future violence) In Squee's world, there are lots of bad things. In Johnny's world, there are only bad things. But someone has to work for the good things...


AN: Ive been planning this fic for a long time and only tonight was I insomnia-tourtured enough to sit down and write it. Its my first JTHM/Squee/IFS fic, so be kind if and when you review. (I appreciate constructive critism...) This one will be slower going then my Invader Zim fics but hopefully worth the wait.   
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Squee VS The Bad ThingsBR  
Chapter 1: Squee Makes A FriendBR  
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"Allright, Todd, I guess your time is up here..."BR  
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Squee looked up for the picture he had been drawing. It was one of the aliens that had come into his room the night before he had been put in the quiet place. He glanced at the doctor confusedly. "My time is up? I can go home now?"BR  
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The doctor nodded. "You arent crazy anymore, Todd, arent you proud? Youive done lots of hard work here and now your parents have decided that you can come home again. Now go pack your things."BR  
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"Yay!" Squee hopped up and padded to his room. The doctor smiled. He was such a nice boy.BR  
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The quiet place was where he was now. They had stopped experimenting on him awhile ago because of Shmee, who kept them away. The other kids in the quiet place were very scary, they had funny dead eyes and growled at him alot. However, because of Shmee, they had left him alone. Shmee was the only thing that made the bad things go away, and he was Squee's best friend.BR  
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"Shmee!" Squee scooped up his bear and gave him a big hug. "Im not crazy anymore! I get to go home to mommy and daddy!"BR  
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*Thats good. You never were crazy, though.* Although Shmee's face neevr changed, Squee could imagine the dissaproving frown on his stitched face. *Your parents really asked for you back?*BR  
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"Yep! They want me to come home!" Squee dragged a heavy duffel back out of his closet and threw his clothes in. "Im gonna show them all my drawings and the stories I wrote-" He opened a drawer and scooped out a thick mass of papers covered with drawings and badly-written words. "Theyll be so proud!"BR  
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*Im proud of you, Squee.*BR  
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"I know, Shmee. Do you want to ride in the bag or with me?"BR  
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*With you, of course.*BR  
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"Allright." Squee zipped up the bag and ran out to the hall, to where his mommy and daddy were waiting. His mommy looked happy. Then again, his mommy always looked happy. Squee figured it was becuase of all the pills she took. Shmee thought she was a simple creature, whatever that meant. His daddy looked annoyed. His daddy looked annoyed alot too. Squee hoped that whatever was making his daddy so sad all the time would go away. His daddy said it was him, but Squee knew that couldnt be true. He was his daddy, after all. "Hi mommy! Hi daddy!"BR  
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"Hello, little boy." His mother swooned, bending at the waist to pat Squee on the head. His dad did likewise under the watchful eye of the doctor. BR  
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"Todd's made remarkable process here with us." The doctor smiled down at Squee. "He's a wonderful little boy, so creative! We're almost sorry to see him go."BR  
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"Yeah, well, we need the tax cut..and out wonderful son, back, of course." Daddy said through gritted teeth. BR  
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"I understand. Would you like a lollipop, Todd?" The doctor held a wrapped sugarless lolly out to Squee, who smiled and shook his head.BR  
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"Shmee says they give you cavities."BR  
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"Shmee's right. He's a very smart bear." The doctor gave him another smile, then turned back to his parents. "Youll need to bring him back in a week, then a month, then 6 months after that for a follow up. Otherwise he should be free to go."BR  
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"Great!" The father said. "Let's go, son." BR  
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"Okay, daddy." he followed them down the hall and into the bright sunlight. BR  
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"Allright, listen up, Todd." The father glowered down at Squee, who peered up expectantly. "Your mother and I have decided we need to have alot more free time, seeing as how we have to look at you so much. So we've hired a nanny on to keep an eye on you. Her name is Julienne. Be nice to her, shes the only one we got."BR  
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"Okay, daddy." BR  
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They got in the car. A girl waited there. She had very short blue hair and an eyebrow peircing. Her shirt was a loud advertisement for a local comic book store. She gave Squee a wide smile. "Hi! My names Julienne! You can call me Jule if thats too hard for you."BR  
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"Hello. My name is Todd. Everyone calls me Squee." He smiled back and held out his bear. "And this is Shmee! He's my best friend!"BR  
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"Well, hello Shmee!" She shook his hand. "How are you?"BR  
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*Im fucking tired, thank you very much."BR  
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"Aww." She patted him on the head. "Im sorry youre tired. Maybe we can rest when we get home."BR  
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Squee looked at her quickly. "You heard that?"BR  
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"Sure I did." She buckled Squee in next to her. "Are you ready?"BR  
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"Yeah! I cant wait to finally get home again!" Squee looked worried. "Except I hope the aliens dont know it-"BR  
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"GODDAMNIT SON!" His father punched the dashboard. "There are no aliens! No aliens, no ghosts, no things hiding in your room! Its all you! They were supposed to make you stop this in the hospital! Didnt it work?"BR  
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Squee looked down sadly. "Yes, daddy."BR  
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"Good." He started the car.BR  
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"Squee." Julienne leaned torwards him. "Can I tell you a secret?"BR  
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he thought about it for a second, then nodded. BR  
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Her voice dropped. "Everything you see and hear is real. Your father and mother cant see it, but you can. Its. All. REAL. Remember that for me."BR  
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His eyes flew wide for a second, and he nodded again. His head drooped. He was all of a sudden very, very sleepy. He yawned, then fell asleep.BR  
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Julienne glanced over at Shmee. *you putting him to sleep so early?*BR  
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*Ill wake him up later. I dont want him to hear us talk. So youre the reinforcements?*BR  
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*Yeah. Apparently the hospital was crawling with the bad things. The ones upstairs want a little more security around him.*BR  
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*They must be getting desperate to send a physical manifestation in.*BR  
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*Squee's a special case. He's got enough power in his little head to make the biggest bad thing's manifestation since...well, that guy that lived next door to him.*BR  
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*Yeah, you dropped the ball on that one, huh Jule?*BR  
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*Shut up, Shmee. It was a personal thing.*BR  
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*Pretty unprofessional.*BR  
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She reached over Squee and puicked up the happy bear. "What a cute little bear-bear! It would be such a shame if Todd lost you somewhere, the parents probaly wouldnt even LOOK for you-"BR  
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She could nearly feel the inanimate thing shudder. *Fine, Ill stop. Listen, I have a favor to ask you...*BR  
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She grinned. "I have the sewing kit in my pocket."BR  
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(somewhere in the darkness)BR  
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*The girls been called in.*BR  
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*Dont fucking remind me, okay? Ive had just about e-fucking-nough of you and your-*BR  
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*You use that word too much. Its lost all its meaning to me, old friend.*BR  
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*Im not your fucking friend. Lets just figure out how we can get ahold of the kid so I can start seeing some more sweet destruction.*BR  
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*How? He's so heavily guarded. Nny was a cakewalk. This one has a mental guard and a physical one, now...he must be worth the effort. Or they learned their lesson, but considering our opponents I dont find that too likely.*BR  
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*We made alot of progress in the hospital. That little shit's good as ours with just a little more pushing.*BR  
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*If we could just get rid of the bear...we almost suceeded last time.*BR  
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*Almost isnt enough. A few jagged rips isnt enough to kill a guard like that. Hell, an impalement and decapitation didnt shut up that fucking BUNNY.*BR  
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*And that rabbit still follows Nny to this day.*BR  
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*I know. His jobs done and he's still floating around like a fucking zombie thing. Its creepy.*BR  
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*No matter. We'll just have to rally our forces. The child WILL be ours.*BR  
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*Fuckin-A .*BR  
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He crept into the room through the window, silent as always. He had found out Squee was to be discharged today through the hospital grapevine-he had kept tabs on him with his occasional visits to Doctor C. He had seen Squeegee hop out of the car a few hours earlier, followed by his inept parents and a new girl he hadnt seen before. The only noteable thing about the girl was her boots, they were pretty cool...but she had kept glancing at his house suspiciously. Did she know him? And if so, from where?BR  
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He remembered most of his former life, although he didnt want to. At first it, was too much to handle-a flood of information and emotions choking off his logical thoughts. A life without speaking inanimate objects telling him what to do frightened him more then a life with them. He feared a life of freedom, as hard as that was to admit. Even with the relief that accompanied his free will's return, there was a keen edge of fear. Life would have consequences for his actions once more. He would be alone, or so he thought...untill he found the new voice in his head, embodied in a creepy talking Burger Boy. Its name was Reverend MEAT, and he wasn't helping at all. Johnny wished a voice would manifest in his constantly self ressurecting cockroach-he at least seemed to take a sensible approach to life. BR  
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But no matter. That was then, and this was now. His hair had grown back, and he'd taken to wearing only one knife-a downgrade from the usual 10 or 12, more for protection then anything else. It was a long handled Egyptian model he'd ordered from a catalouge before he got...scary. He remembered his fascination with Egyptain culture, the pharoas as gods and all that. He remembered so much, and was only now starting to make sence of it.BR  
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He slowly stood up in the room, glancing around for Squee's parents. The room was dark save the moonlight streaming in the window. He wondered what hd happened to the odd girl. She was naggingly familair...BR  
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No matter. He had some checking up to do on Squee-BR  
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"Hold it right there." BR  
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Speak of the devil. The girl stepped into the moonlight, her blue hair indigo in the dark, sewing something. She was glaring at him. "What do you want with Squee?"BR  
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"I..." He trailed off. Truth was, he wasnt sure what he wanted with Squee other then a reassurance that his mind wouldnt deteriorate like his did so long ago. Squee was a nice kid, but with parents like that...plus the voice that came from Shmee sounded suspiciously like Nailbunny's. However, he wasnt about to tell all that to someone he barely knew. "I need to feed my wall." he growled.BR  
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She tsked. "Nice try, Johnny. That wall's long gone, I know it as well as you do. So drop the shit and tell me who youre working for."BR  
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He paused again, one eyebrow raised. "How do you know about that?"BR  
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"I know alot about you, Johnny. I work for the good things." She pointed the needle at him. "And you used to work for the bad things. Who do you work for now?"BR  
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"I work for myself. Im a slave to nothing now." He unsheathed his knife. "I just happen to find murder entertaining."BR  
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"I see." She looked back down at the thing she was sewing. "Well, as long as you mean Squee no harm..."BR  
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Johnny looked at the girl, amazed by her nonchalance. He advanced on her with the knife, almost experimentaly. He crouched low in front of her, knife drawing a light line acoss her jugular vein. She calmly lifted two fingers to the blade and turned it away from her throat, not looking up from her work. He laughed, a little bemusedly, and resheathed his weapon. "Arent you scared of me? Im a lunatic with a knife! You seem to know what Im capable of-"BR  
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"Oh, dont get me wrong." Her voice lost its polite tone and got icy. "I know what youre capable of better then even you yourself are. However, in the course of this evening, Ive prevented aliens, monsters, a tiny fleet of nanorobots, and a moose from waking Squee up. A guy with a knife is almost a welcome diversion. Besides, Ive come to doubt wether I can die...but I dont really want to get into that."BR  
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He stopped in suprise. "Are...are you like me?"BR  
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"Sort of. I dont have a floating bunny head giving me counsel, though...and I havent tried to kill Devi D. yet." She smiled at him, a little evilly. "She wont forgive you, huh? Thats a bitch, not that I blame her." BR  
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Johnny sighed and sat crosslegged on the floor, eyeing her curiously. "Well. Thanks for reminding me. You do know quite a bit about me, dont you?"BR  
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"More then you know about yourself." She tied off the thread. "There you are, Shmee, good as new." She held up the bear, studying it with a craftsman's eye. Johnny looked it over as well. The badly-sewn rips from his stabbing were gone, replaced by neat seams. *We have a visitor.*BR  
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*what is he doing here?!?* Shmee screamed. *Did he bring anything in here with him?*BR  
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*Dosent look like it...I still dont think he should be here.*BR  
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"Why shouldnt I be here?"BR  
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Jule looked up, only faintly suiprised. "So you can tap that wavelength. I figured as much. Tell me, Johnny...did you ever wonder WHY youre so attracted to Squee? Not in a physical way, of course, but how you visit him all the time and try to protect him?"BR  
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Nny shrugged. "Not really. I just didnt want him to end up like me." BR  
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She nodded. "Tell me something else, Johnny. Did you ever wonder why you didnt belong in heaven or hell? I dont believe anyone ever explained it to you."BR  
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Johnny gritted his teeth. All theese questions, such little information. It seemed this girl knew what she was talking about, but it could be like a TV psychic network:they would tell you everything you already know and bullshit about what you dont. However, she might have answers, the answers he had been searching for, the answers God himself hadnt supplied. It was worth the wait. Despite his annoyance, he responded. "I was a wastelock. I had to exist. Then I was replaced."BR  
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She laughed. "I guess that was enough explanation for you, huh?"BR  
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he growled. "Why do you ask me all theese questions? I dotn even know your name! For all I know, you could be a diseased little guttersnipe here to steal loose change from Squee's father's pockets."BR  
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She raised an eyebrow. "Watch it with the guttersnipe. My name is Julienne, and Im a Principalia Manifestation. You can call me Jule." She held out her hand. "Im also Squee's new nanny. I like your hair."BR  
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"Umm." He shook. "My names Johnny C. You know that, I suppose."BR  
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"Yeah." She tenderly placed Shmee next to Squee, who rolled over and hugged him tight. "Im a guardian, of sorts, of this area of the world. My job is to keep it free of the Bad Things as much as possible."BR  
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"What are the bad things?"BR  
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"Well." She looked away. "Remember Psycho-Doughboy and Mr. Fuck, and the thing they served?"BR  
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Johnny shuddered at the thought. "yes."BR  
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"Well. Psycho-Doughboy and Mr. Fuck were mental manifestations of two Bad Things. The thing behind the wall was a physical manifestation of A Bad Thing. The bad things are VERY bad things that try to make themselves real through taking over other people and having themselves be born through their minds. Usually they just use the mind to give power to an already existing inanimate object, like the Doughboys did. Occasionally, when in contact with a very powerful mind, they can manifest their true forms in the physical world, that that thingy behind yer wall. Quite unpleasant. I, however, work for the Good Things, the things that try and prevent the Bad Things from taking over. I set the shields, like Shmee or Nailbunny..." BR  
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He riased his eyebrows. "I though Nailbunny was just my own internal monolouge."BR  
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"He was...kind of. The way that sheild worked was to keep a peice of your mind seperate from the chaos so that could remember it clearly...that way, when you were reborn, they didnt have to build you a completely new mind."She sighed. "The situation with Squee just gets worse and worse. His mind is perhaps the most fertile breding ground since...well, you and that wall thing."BR  
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"So." Johnny stared at the ground, nervously toying with his knife. "my whole mental breakdown was caused by them?"BR  
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"Johnny, all mental breakdowns are caused by them. That damned hospital's full of the things, thats why things have gotten so bad." She placed a carefull hand on Squee's head. She paused for a minute, eyes closed. "His dreams are so weird...Is he afraid of flying?BR  
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"I dont think so."BR  
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"Allright, give me a second." She ran her fingers in a cricular motion over his forehead.BR  
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"What are you doing?"BR  
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"Im changing his dream." She drummed her fingers lightly, then smiled. "There we go. He's got a rocketpack now. Neat, huh?"BR  
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"Ummm...yeah." Johnny glanced at Squee. He had a sleepy grin on his face and was humming contentedly. A smile quirked on Johnny's face "Wow, thats actually impressive. So, can we stop this weird exposition and maybe you could tell me what I am?"BR  
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Jule shook her head. "Uhuh. Not yet."BR  
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"Not YET?!?" Johnny nearly screeched. "Listen, Ive been waiting a very long time to find out exactly what the hell is wrong with me, and you could tell me. Not YET?!? What the hell are you people waiting for?!? I think the time is ripe, rotted, and dead! I want to know! So why the hell not yet?!?"BR  
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"I dont have the clearance. Besides, I need a reason to make you help me."BR  
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"Me help you." Johnny sniggered. "You must be kidding. You really want a homicidal maniac helping you combat the shadowy forces of evil?"BR  
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"Yes."BR  
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"Why?"BR  
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"Cause you can see them. You know what we're fighting. You've dealt with them. And you care abotu Squee, in your own weird little way, enough to not want him to turn into what you were." she leaned forward and looked him in the eye. "Here's my proposition. You help me get rid of theese things for good, and in return, Ill give you a full disclosure of what you were, are, and are going to be. Deal?"BR  
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He looked her in the eyes. They were sincere. But behind the driving force of her sincerity was a bit of disgust, and alot of anger. He realized that despite all she knew about him, he knew very little about her. It seemed unfair somehow. "On one condition."BR  
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"Name it."BR  
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He narrowed his eyes at her. "Where do I know you from?"BR  
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Jule laughed a little. "Well, thats an easy one. I thought you were gonna ask for something hard. When you went to heaven, did you see any familiar faces?"BR  
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"No." Johnny paused. "Wait, there was that one guy I threw the dynamite at on the toilet..."BR  
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"Not him." Jule glared at him hard. "Do you remember Edgar Vargas?"BR  
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The name sent a bolt through Johnny's head. It was familiar. Very, very familiar. But how? why? "I...I might...I have to try and remember. Im going home."BR  
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Jule nodded. "Dont coem back tonight, you might wake up Squee. Ill come over tomorow for your answer."BR  
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"Allright." He opened the window and hopped out in one fluid motion. "Goodnight, Julienne."BR  
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"Goodnight, Johnny C." She watched his shadow fade. "And good luck."BR  
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*So, our boy Nny is switching sides, is he?*BR  
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*Not necessarily. He dosent seem to like Julienne very much.*BR  
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*Well, she is a royal pain in the ass.*BR  
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*To us, yes. I guess its time check in on our Johnny, is it not?*BR  
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*its no good, Jule sealed the whole fucking house up from us before the resurrection. The only things that can get in are Good Things like Nailbunny and the harmless morons like Reverend MEAT. Im telling you, pain in the ASS. She throught of everything.*BR  
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*Not necessarily. Maybe we should visit Reverend MEAT instead.*BR  
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*Why the fuck...oh, I see. Hey, that might work. Youre pretty smart for an asshole, D-Boy.*BR  
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*Same to you, Mr. Eff.*BR  
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